Personal relationships

Soon after arriving in Cameroon, we noticed that the locals did a lot of standing around, talking to one another. 15-minute tea breaks would stretch out for quite some time. “Half an hour” for lunch was interpreted very liberally. To our Western, time-oriented eyes, this looked like a lot of people were neglecting important things that had to be done. It looked like we were surrounded by time-wasters.

Before leaving Northern Ireland, we were advised not to jump to conclusions too hastily. There is a lot of scope for misunderstanding what people are doing when you have no idea why they are doing it. So we put the “Bunch of time-wasters” thought to the back of our head.

As time went on, it became obvious that these people were not wasting time or neglecting important things. On the contrary – by taking time to talk to their friend, they were paying attention to the important things in life. By discussing their lives, their children, their needs, etc., they were exchanging something that was more important to them than currency – friendship. They were using time in a way their own culture said was important. If they had a sudden need, they had someone to turn to. If a stranger appeared and needed help, they knew who to point him to.

Our own cultural upbringing meant that we sometimes found certain aspects of Cameroon frustrating. When making enquiries with a print-shop, the process of getting a quote involved a social ritual of sitting, talking and meeting the staff. Later meetings involved more talking. In Northern Ireland we would drop off the CD, ask for a thousand copies of the PDF and call back at the end of the week. The way we were used to seemed so much more efficient and cost-effective. The Cameroonian way seemed so much more.... human.

The Cameroonian way was the Irish way until a few generations ago.

In due course, we returned to Northern Ireland. When we went to the bank and talked to the human behind the counter, it was a pleasant and uplifting experience. In a very human way, she gave advice that an ATM won't. We paid attention to this human being, whereas we ignore the flashing messages on the ATM. We sorted out car insurance by talking face-to-face with a human and after pleasant conversation she gave us a very good price. There was something strange about all this human interaction though – for the first few weeks back home, we were still meeting and greeting as we had done in Cameroon. We weren't doing things in the Western time-is-money way.

Our re-introduction to time-is-money and 'maximising revenue for shareholders' came as a shock. 'Company X' made a series of blunders and their call-centre people insisted there was either no blunder, or it was the customer who had messed up. Repeated calls over several weeks just increased our frustration. Only when words like “Ombudsman” and “Trading Standards” got mentioned, did Company X send a human being in a van. He fixed the problem in two hours and we talked nicely, like human beings. He even apologised for the call-centre people and their lack of interest. For him, I was a customer who needed his help (and not an annoyance at the end of the phone line). For me, he was a nice man who was obviously doing his best. Why did we have to write letters and threaten legal action to get anything done?

Two days later a nice human being from a very senior position in Company X phoned up and apologised. He admitted that the approach they had taken to call-centres, of slashing costs and so on was ultimately annoying customers (who were leaving) and was being rethought. Fair play to him for apologising. Fair play to him for admitting that customers want to be treated as human beings.

Suffice to say, we found this aspect of our return to NI strange. Taken in the context of John 4 (Jesus sitting down at a well, asking a woman for a drink, and taking time to talk to her), or the three years of friendship between Jesus and his disciples during his ministry, our de-personalisation of everything, while time-efficient and cost-effective, seems hollow.